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博物馆之夜

cd1

[03:16.62]Hey, watch it.  
[03:17.85] 
[03:33.27]Oh, come on.  
[03:35.71] 
[03:43.32]Hey, Mike!  
[03:45.01] 
[03:45.19]- Hey, Larry. - How you doing?  
[03:47.81] 
[03:47.99]Have you seen Nicky?  
[03:49.18] 
[03:49.36]I'm pretty sure he went with Erica. It was half day today.  
[03:51.92] 
[03:52.09]Parent Career Day.  
[03:54.29] 
[04:00.13]- Hey. - Hey. Come on in.  
[04:02.66] 
[04:03.84]- You all right? - Yeah, yeah.  
[04:06.86] 
[04:07.34]Why didn't anybody tell me it was Career Day?  
[04:09.33] 
[04:09.51]What do you mean? Nicky said he was gonna tell you.  
[04:11.77] 
[04:13.18]Oh, okay, I guess he forgot.  
[04:15.74] 
[04:15.92]There he is. How are you, Larry?  
[04:18.25] 
[04:18.42]Good. How are you doing, Don?  
[04:20.44] 
[04:21.32]Good.  
[04:22.79] 
[04:23.82]Can you believe this weather?  
[04:25.62] 
[04:26.86]Chilly, right? Chilly, chilly, Chilly Willy the penguin.  
[04:31.59] 
[04:33.83]Leave me alone. Hey, why don't I go tell the little corncob you're here.  
[04:37.13] 
[04:37.31]Great. Great, that's great. Yeah, thanks.  
[04:40.50] 
[04:42.04]Wow, your fiance really manages to squeeze a lot onto that belt.  
[04:45.31] 
[04:45.48]- Stop it. - What?  
[04:46.81] 
[04:46.98]What? No, it's like he's...  
[04:49.92] 
[04:50.08]...the Batman of stockbrokers.  
[04:51.75] 
[04:51.92]- Bond trader. - Bond trader. Sorry.  
[04:54.89] 
[04:55.06]Hey, how's it going with that virtual-reality driving range that you wanted to open?  
[04:59.43] 
[04:59.59]Getting there, still waiting for the technology to catch up.  
[05:02.65] 
[05:02.83]It's not easy, there are a lot of moving parts.  
[05:05.06] 
[05:06.33]Hey, do you think Nick would like Queens?  
[05:09.67] 
[05:09.84]Oh, no, Larry. You didn't get evicted again, did you?  
[05:13.33] 
[05:13.91]I didn't...  
[05:15.60] 
[05:15.78]...get evicted. I didn't get evicted, no. I mean, I didn't...  
[05:18.77] 
[05:18.95]- No, I didn't get evicted yet. It's like... - Larry, listen to me.  
[05:21.97] 
[05:22.15]I don't know how much more Nicky can take.  
[05:24.01] 
[05:24.19]Every couple months, it's a new career, a new apartment.  
[05:26.81] 
[05:26.99]If it wasn't for Nicky, I wouldn't say anything, I would stay out of it.  
[05:30.25] 
[05:30.42]It's just, it's too much instability. It's not good for him.  
[05:33.12] 
[05:33.33]I'm trying to figure things out right now, okay?  
[05:35.82] 
[05:40.60]You know...  
[05:42.09] 
[05:43.20]...I don't think that Nicky should stay with you.  
[05:45.76] 
[05:45.94]- What? - Just until you get really settled.  
[05:49.50] 
[05:50.48]Hey, Dad.  
[05:52.07] 
[05:52.25]- Hey, ready to carve it up? - Cool.  
[05:55.31] 
[06:00.12]All right, good! Take it, Nicky! Break away!  
[06:03.78] 
[06:08.00]- What are you doing? - Hey, Nicky! Are you all right?  
[06:10.52] 
[06:11.93]- You okay? - I'm fine. Would you get off the ice?  
[06:15.06] 
[06:15.24]Listen. Their left defenseman is a very weak skater.  
[06:17.67] 
[06:17.84]So you go left side, you got a clear shot at the goal. Okay?  
[06:20.67] 
[06:20.84]- Cool, thanks. - All right, man.  
[06:23.00] 
[06:23.74]We're good here. We're good. All right. As you were, skaters.  
[06:29.11] 
[06:29.65]Game on!  
[06:31.41] 
[06:32.59]I'm good.  
[06:34.14] 
[06:34.32]I'm telling you, you tore it up out there today.  
[06:36.59] 
[06:36.76]Thinking the NHL is a serious possibility.  
[06:39.25] 
[06:39.43]I don't really wanna be a hockey player anymore.  
[06:42.76] 
[06:44.43]- All right. What do you wanna be? - A bond trader.  
[06:48.03] 
[06:48.90]A bond trader?  
[06:50.13] 
[06:50.30]Yeah, it's what Don does. He took me to his office last week.  
[06:54.24] 
[06:55.08]That's cool.  
[06:56.37] 
[06:56.54]So you wanna dress up in a monkey suit and tie every day?  
[06:59.21] 
[06:59.38]Like an automaton robot?  
[07:02.25] 
[07:02.75]Trust me, you can't play hockey in a cubicle. Kind of awkward.  
[07:06.12] 
[07:06.49]Well, he's got a pretty big office.  
[07:08.61] 
[07:09.26]That's not the point. Come on, you love hockey.  
[07:11.69] 
[07:11.86]I still like it, but bond trading's my fallback.  
[07:14.99] 
[07:15.16]Your fallback?  
[07:16.93] 
[07:17.10]Wait a minute. You're too young to have a fallback, okay?  
[07:19.86] 
[07:20.03]And also, where did you ever even hear that word?  
[07:22.97] 
[07:23.14]Mom was talking to Don about all your different schemes.  
[07:26.20] 
[07:26.37]She called them schemes?  
[07:27.74] 
[07:27.91]She said it was time you found a fallback.  
[07:30.81] 
[07:34.18]Are you really moving again?  
[07:36.48] 
[07:39.59]I don't know. We'll see. I mean...  
[07:41.85] 
[07:42.02]...there's some pretty cool places out in Queens.  
[07:44.46] 
[07:44.63]- Yeah. - Hey.  
[07:47.22] 
[07:47.39]Hey, Nicky, look at me.  
[07:50.09] 
[07:50.46]Look at me, man. I wanna tell you something.  
[07:52.76] 
[07:52.93]I know that things have been kind of up and down for me lately...  
[07:56.16] 
[07:56.34]...and that's been hard for you.  
[07:58.10] 
[07:58.51]But I really feel like my moment's coming and when it does...  
[08:01.20] 
[08:01.38]...everything's just gonna come together, you know?  
[08:04.37] 
[08:04.55]What if you're wrong...  
[08:05.81] 
[08:05.98]...and you're just an ordinary guy who should get a job?  
[08:09.58] 
[08:15.76]All right, well...  
[08:17.59] 
[08:20.56]You know what, we'll figure it out, okay?  
[08:23.00] 
[08:23.86]All right? Come on, let's get you back to Mom's.  
[08:27.13] 
[08:34.61]Mr. Daley, I can honestly say, in 43 years at this agency...  
[08:37.87] 
[08:38.05]...I've never seen a resume quite like yours.  
[08:40.78] 
[08:41.38]All right.  
[08:43.08] 
[08:44.52]That wasn't a compliment.  
[08:46.85] 
[08:47.49]It says here you were the CEO...  
[08:49.32] 
[08:49.49]...of Snaptime Industries.  
[08:52.02] 
[08:52.19]Care to elaborate on that?  
[08:53.72] 
[08:53.89]Sure. Well, that was the umbrella corporation for my invention, the Snapper.  
[08:58.83] 
[08:59.00]You know, you snap, the lights come on. Snap, they come off.  
[09:02.53] 
[09:02.70]Didn't they already make that?  
[09:05.33] 
[09:06.61]No, no, that's the Clapper, which, obviously...  
[09:10.27] 
[09:10.44]...stole a bit of our thunder.  
[09:12.07] 
[09:12.25]Personally, I don't really see what the big difference is, I mean:  
[09:15.65] 
[09:15.82]You know, whatever, but...  
[09:18.22] 
[09:18.39]...apparently there is a significant portion of the population that has trouble actually...  
[09:23.69] 
[09:23.86]...snapping. - Clapping's easier.  
[09:26.85] 
[09:28.20]Debatable.  
[09:29.79] 
[09:30.20]I can't help you.  
[09:31.96] 
[09:32.73]Debbie?  
[09:33.93] 
[09:34.10]Can I call you Debbie? Because...  
[09:35.86] 
[09:36.04]...I felt a connection when I entered this office...  
[09:38.33] 
[09:38.51]...and I don't know, I feel like you did too.  
[09:40.87] 
[09:41.81]I didn't feel a connection.  
[09:43.97] 
[09:46.65]Look.  
[09:47.94] 
[09:49.08]I need a job tomorrow, okay?  
[09:52.81] 
[09:52.99]If I don't have one...  
[09:54.85] 
[09:55.56]Well, I just need it, okay?  
[09:57.82] 
[09:58.09]Well, I don't know.  
[10:00.36] 
[10:00.63]I might have one thing.  
[10:02.93] 
[10:03.33]They've turned down everyone I've sent over there, but...  
[10:07.60] 
[10:07.77]Great.  
[10:09.24] 
[10:09.64]- Who knows?  
[10:11.43] 
[10:13.14]You might get lucky.  
[10:14.44] 
[10:48.14]- Excuse me. Hi. - Hi.  
[10:50.77] 
[10:50.95]I'm Larry Daley. I've got a job interview with Cecil Fredricks.  
[10:55.61] 
[10:56.12]- Right. He should still be in his office. - Great.  
[10:59.21] 
[10:59.39]- I'm Rebecca Hutman. I'm a docent here. - Hi.  
[11:02.84] 
[11:03.02]- Let me point you in the right direction. - Great.  
[11:06.29] 
[11:08.60]Teddy Roosevelt, right?  
[11:09.86] 
[11:10.03]- Yes, a great visionary. - Yes, definitely.  
[11:13.69] 
[11:13.87]He was our 4th president, right?  
[11:15.93] 
[11:16.10]- Twenty-sixth. - Twenty-sixth.  
[11:18.33] 
[11:18.51]Please don't touch the exhibits! I mean...  
[11:21.47] 
[11:21.64]Riffraff.  
[11:22.94] 
[11:23.38]Miss Hutman. I cannot tolerate this type of chaos.  
[11:26.40] 
[11:26.58]I mean, this is a museum, not a...  
[11:29.78] 
[11:31.22]Do you know what "museum" means?  
[11:33.08] 
[11:34.02]It doesn't mean, "Daddy, it's a big Tyrannosaurus thing.  
[11:37.75] 
[11:37.93]Can I touch its leg?" No!  
[11:40.55] 
[11:40.83]Work it out, please.  
[11:42.66] 
[11:42.83]- Will do, sir. - Thank you.  
[11:45.59] 
[11:46.10]Dr. McPhee, the museum director.  
[11:48.23] 
[11:48.40]Seems like a fun guy.  
[11:50.20] 
[11:50.37]Control your young, please. Can we?  
[11:53.40] 
[12:05.09]Hello? Just kidding.  
[12:08.28] 
[12:08.46]Hi. I'm Larry Daley. Are you Mr. Fredricks?  
[12:12.08] 
[12:12.26]Mr. Fredricks was my father.  
[12:14.42] 
[12:14.60]I am Cecil. Good to meet you, Larry. Nice firm handshake.  
[12:17.93] 
[12:18.10]I like that. Tells a lot about a man. Come on in.  
[12:21.63] 
[12:25.97]Let's talk turkey here.  
[12:28.87] 
[12:30.81]The museum is losing money, hand over fist.  
[12:34.41] 
[12:34.58]I guess kids today don't care about wax figures or stuffed animals.  
[12:38.88] 
[12:39.35]So they're downsizing, which is code for firing...  
[12:43.05] 
[12:43.22]...myself and the other two night guards.  
[12:45.19] 
[12:45.56]They want to replace us with one new guard.  
[12:47.65] 
[12:47.83]- Oh, sorry. - Well, what are you gonna do?  
[12:51.36] 
[12:51.53]I'd like you to meet my two colleagues here.  
[12:55.09] 
[12:55.27]Reginald? Gus?  
[12:57.70] 
[12:57.87]Where is he? I'll beat him with my fist!  
[13:00.47] 
[13:02.31]Gus, this is Larry Daley, the kid who wants to be the new night guard.  
[13:05.94] 
[13:07.61]Night guard?  
[13:08.60] 
[13:08.78]No, the lady at the agency said this was a museum position.  
[13:11.95] 
[13:12.12]Most important position in the museum, Larry.  
[13:15.25] 
[13:15.42]He looks like a weirdie.  
[13:17.22] 
[13:17.99]Wonderful guard, terrible people skills.  
[13:20.39] 
[13:20.56]Now, listen, lunch box. Don't try anything funny.  
[13:23.89] 
[13:24.06]I once went nine rounds with John L. Sullivan.  
[13:27.26] 
[13:27.50]You never fought John L. Sullivan in your life.  
[13:30.23] 
[13:30.40]Gentlemen, we have a job candidate here.  
[13:33.00] 
[13:33.17]He's got an excellent resume, a winning attitude...  
[13:35.70] 
[13:35.88]...and I say let's give him a shot. What do you say?  
[13:38.24] 
[13:38.41]Hang on a sec. I think I might wanna have a little time just to think it over.  
[13:42.47] 
[13:42.65]Do you want the job or not, snack shack?  
[13:45.91] 
[13:48.29]- No, no, I want the job... - Welcome to the night guards, Larry.  
[13:52.19] 
[13:53.13]Larry, meet me up on the second floor.  
[13:55.19] 
[13:55.36]I'll slip into my orthopedics and give you a little tour. Arthritic knees.  
[13:59.13] 
[13:59.53]Not fun getting old, my friend. Go on.  
[14:03.30] 
[14:09.24]You really think he's the one?  
[14:11.64] 
[14:13.11]Oh, yes.  
[14:14.81] 
[14:14.98]He's the one.  
[14:16.92] 
[14:30.13]Gotta keep it moving, Larry. I'm pretty spry for an old man.  
[14:34.09] 
[14:34.27]This is the Diorama Room.  
[14:37.43] 
[14:37.60]Oh, yeah.  
[14:39.60] 
[14:40.01]I remember these little guys. Cute.  
[14:44.81] 
[14:47.15]Cecil!  
[14:49.08] 
[14:51.89]Hey, Cecil!  
[14:54.01] 
[15:07.17]- Did I get you good? - Yeah.  
[15:09.69] 
[15:09.87]You got me.  
[15:12.20] 
[15:15.44]Seriously, though, no fooling around in here. This stuff is really old.  
[15:20.68] 
[15:20.85]All right, then. As you can see, it's pretty quiet in here these days.  
[15:25.88] 
[15:26.25]On the left there is your Attila the Hun.  
[15:29.78] 
[15:31.12]And here we have our Easter Island head.  
[15:34.29] 
[15:35.86]Hey, Cecil.  
[15:37.66] 
[15:39.70]And this, of course, is the Hall of African Mammals.  
[15:44.23] 
[15:44.40]Ah, yes.  
[15:46.77] 
[15:47.71]Monkeys. I love monkeys.  
[15:51.20] 
[15:52.71]- Yeah. - Guy's cute.  
[15:54.37] 
[15:54.55]Yeah, we call him Dexter. He's quite a little...  
[15:58.35] 
[15:58.52]...ball of fun, aren't you, Dexter?  
[16:01.25] 
[16:03.89]Moving on.  
[16:05.65] 
[16:07.79]And, finally, this is the temple of the Pharaoh Ahkmenrah.  
[16:12.63] 
[16:14.90]And in that tomb right down there, the pharaoh himself.  
[16:19.60] 
[16:19.77]Neat.  
[16:21.07] 
[16:21.28]And hanging on the wall behind him...  
[16:23.44] 
[16:23.61]...was his most prized possession, the Tablet of Ahkmenrah.  
[16:29.05] 
[16:29.42]Twenty-four-carat gold. It's worth a fortune.  
[16:32.78] 
[16:32.95]Very cool.  
[16:34.68] 
[16:34.86]It is indeed, Larry.  
[16:36.48] 
[16:37.56]Very cool.  
[16:39.49] 
[16:43.56]All right. Report here at 5 tomorrow. We'll walk you through your duties.  
[16:47.73] 
[16:47.90]Okay, 5. I'll be here.  
[16:49.77] 
[16:49.94]Moving on.  
[16:51.84] 
[16:53.31]Hey, it's me. So I got a job.  
[16:56.40] 
[16:56.58]Larry, that's great. What is it?  
[16:58.91] 
[16:59.08]It's a job...  
[17:02.24] 
[17:02.42]...at the Museum of Natural History.  
[17:05.68] 
[17:05.85]Yeah, so you can tell Nicky that we won't be moving.  
[17:08.48] 
[17:08.66]Larry, this is good news.  
[17:09.88] 
[17:10.06]Yeah, no, definitely. So I'll see you tomorrow?  
[17:12.72] 
[17:12.89]- Okay. - Okay, bye.  
[17:15.36] 
[17:24.71]Larry?  
[17:26.10] 
[17:26.51]Your keys. Your torch.  
[17:29.24] 
[17:29.41]- Right. - You'll wanna strap those to your belt.  
[17:32.21] 
[17:32.38]It can get a little spooky around here at night...  
[17:34.64] 
[17:34.82]...so you might wanna put a few lights on.  
[17:37.31] 
[17:38.25]All right, flashlight, keys. What am I for...?  
[17:41.38] 
[17:44.06]The instruction manual.  
[17:45.89] 
[17:46.06]Instructions.  
[17:47.32] 
[17:47.49]You start with one, two, three...  
[17:50.73] 
[17:50.90]Four?  
[17:52.23] 
[17:52.40]Are you cracking wise?  
[17:54.20] 
[17:54.37]I ought to punch you in the nose, hopscotch.  
[17:57.27] 
[17:57.44]Leave him alone, Gus. You got it covered, right, Larry?  
[18:00.43] 
[18:00.61]Yeah, yeah, I got it.  
[18:02.73] 
[18:02.91]- You better get it! - Gus.  
[18:05.31] 
[18:05.48]Larry, do them in order, do them all and do them quick.  
[18:08.97] 
[18:09.15]And the most important thing of all to remember: Don't let anything in or out.  
[18:14.35] 
[18:14.52]Out?  
[18:15.75] 
[18:15.92]Good luck, son.  
[18:17.62] 
[18:17.79]- Night, Gus. - Young buck. Cracking wise.  
[18:20.69] 
[18:20.86]Moving on.  
[18:22.49] 
[18:57.43]Hello?  
[18:58.96] 
[18:59.13]Hello!  
[19:00.96] 
[19:01.17]Check!  
[19:02.86] 
[19:03.04]Check.  
[19:05.70] 
[19:05.91]I am Larry.  
[19:09.40] 
[19:09.58]Check! Larry! Larry.  
[19:13.57] 
[19:18.92]Monday! Monday! Monday!  
[19:21.35] 
[19:21.52]Monster Truck Rally.  
[19:24.08] 
[20:45.04]Cecil?  
[20:46.84] 
[20:49.68]Okay, very funny, Cecil!  
[20:52.77] 
[20:54.21]What is this, like a David Copperfield thing?  
[20:57.21] 
[21:05.33]This is weird.  
[21:07.66] 
[21:16.30]Cecil?  
[21:18.03] 
[22:07.75]Come on. Revolve. Revolve!  
[22:12.38] 
[22:25.77]- Name, please? - Cecil...  
[22:28.24] 
[22:28.84]...Fredricks! - One moment. Connecting.  
[22:32.24] 
[22:32.41]- Hello. - Cecil! It's Larry Daley!  
[22:34.47] 
[22:34.65]Larry. Yes, how can I help you?  
[22:36.64] 
[22:36.82]The dinosaur... The dinosaur is alive!  
[22:39.44] 
[22:39.62]I'm having a little trouble hearing you, friend.  
[22:41.75] 
[22:41.92]Tequila.  
[22:43.22] 
[22:43.39]The dinosaur's alive!  
[22:45.19] 
[22:45.36]What do I do? Tell me what to do!  
[22:46.79] 
[22:46.96]Read the instructions. It explains everything.  
[22:50.12] 
[22:52.13]Okay, I got them!  
[22:53.83] 
[22:54.87]- I'll see you tomorrow. - Wait! What...?  
[22:56.89] 
[23:06.51]What bone?  
[23:08.14] 
[24:05.97]Fetch?  
[24:07.74] 
[24:11.28]Play fetch?  
[24:13.04] 
[24:36.10]No way.  
[24:37.93] 
[24:48.92]- Dum-dum. - Yes?  
[24:50.44] 
[24:50.62]- You give me gum-gum. - I give you gum-gum?  
[24:53.64] 
[24:53.82]You new dum-dum. You give me gum-gum.  
[24:56.81] 
[24:58.29]Okay, you know what? I have no gum-gum. Sorry.  
[25:00.66] 
[25:00.83]And my name isn't dum-dum, my name's Larry.  
[25:02.69] 
[25:02.86]No, your name dum-dum.  
[25:05.49] 
[25:06.83]Oh, you in trouble, dum-dum.  
[25:09.77] 
[25:09.94]You'd better run-run from Attila the Hun-Hun.  
[25:12.77] 
[25:16.88]See you later, dum-dum.  
[25:18.61] 
[25:54.65]What is happening?  
[25:56.71] 
[26:36.62]Hey.  
[26:37.92] 
[26:39.16]How you doing?  
[26:40.68] 
[26:43.90]Are you...?  
[26:45.46] 
[26:46.27]You're...  
[26:47.53] 
[26:48.40]..."Sakagahwahwaya"?  
[26:50.56] 
[26:50.74]You're "Sakagawaya"?  
[26:52.20] 
[26:52.41]Oh, Sakagawea. You're Sakagawea?  
[26:55.20] 
[26:55.81]The glass. I can't...  
[26:58.47] 
[26:58.65]...hear you.  
[27:00.20] 
[27:00.41]You can't...? You can't hear me?  
[27:03.94] 
[27:04.12]Excuse me. "Who assisted the Lewis and Clark..."  
[27:06.59] 
[27:06.89]Right, so that's Lewis and Clark and you're... Right.  
[27:10.08] 
[27:10.26]You seem... I'm Larry.  
[27:12.38] 
[27:13.09]What's going on? What's...? Do you know what's going on here?  
[27:16.46] 
[27:18.83]Huns. I gotta...  
[27:20.39] 
[28:06.38]Hey. Hi.  
[28:08.21] 
[28:08.38]Tin Man. Hey. Hi. How you doing?  
[28:10.78] 
[28:10.95]I'm new. It says I'm supposed to lock up the lions or they'll eat me.  
[28:14.11] 
[28:16.09]You're Galileo? No?  
[28:18.82] 
[28:40.71]Okay...  
[28:42.15] 
[28:42.38]Hey, I'm the...  
[28:44.15] 
[28:45.85]Hi. I'm the new guy and I'm just locking up, so...  
[28:50.26] 
[28:52.19]If it's cool with you I'm just gonna get my paperwork...  
[28:55.68] 
[28:57.23]...and be out of your hair, okay?  
[28:59.03] 
[29:55.25]"Double-check your belt. The monkey probably stole your keys."  
[29:59.05] 
[29:59.23]Monkey.  
[30:00.92] 
[30:03.73]Hey. Hey there. Hi. What's your name? Your name is...  
[30:07.67] 
[30:08.43]No, no, no. Come back. Come back.  
[30:10.66] 
[30:10.84]Dewey? Is that your name, Dewey?  
[30:12.81] 
[30:12.97]No, no, no. What's...? Dewey? Dexter? Dexter. Dexter, right?  
[30:16.93] 
[30:17.11]Hey, Dexter, you wanna give me those keys?  
[30:19.31] 
[30:19.48]I just want to lock up.  
[30:21.71] 
[30:21.88]Yes. Oh, good. Come to Papa.  
[30:24.01] 
[30:24.18]Oh, thank you. Can I have those keys? Oh, good. What a good boy.  
[30:28.85] 
[30:29.02]That's okay. Oh, thank you.  
[30:30.96] 
[30:31.12]Oh, no, no, no. It's okay. Thank you very, very much.  
[30:34.96] 
[30:57.02]Bad monkey. Stop that.  
[30:58.85] 
[30:59.02]That's not right. Are you done?  
[31:02.11] 
[31:03.36]Do you have an issue with me? Do you have an issue with me?  
[31:05.95] 
[31:06.13]Because if I have a problem with somebody, I don't pee on them, okay?  
[31:09.19] 
[31:09.36]And also... Let me tell you something. These keys?  
[31:12.66] 
[31:13.67]Hey. Dexter, that's not funny. Give it back.  
[31:15.96] 
[31:16.14]Dexter. Give...  
[31:17.97] 
[31:20.01]Don't. I know what you're thinking. Don't do it. Not a good idea.  
[31:24.17] 
[31:24.34]Not... Dexter, I need those.  
[31:25.90] 
[31:26.68]Don't encourage him. You think you're funny for your friends, huh?  
[31:29.81] 
[31:29.98]You three guys... What, he's the ringleader, you're the audience?  
[31:33.04] 
[31:33.22]Yeah, no. Don't do it, okay?  
[31:34.91] 
[31:35.09]Look it... You!  
[31:36.71] 
[31:49.84]Oh, this is not happening.  
[31:51.74] 
[32:00.58]Oh, man.  
[32:02.55] 
[32:28.77]What are you guys doing?  
[32:30.54] 
[32:31.41]I can't feel my lip.  
[32:33.11] 
[32:34.48]Oh, shit.  
[32:36.14] 
[32:39.99]Man.  
[32:41.54] 
[33:05.44]Hey. Hey.  
[33:07.94] 
[33:09.62]Hey, stop that.  
[33:11.64] 
[33:16.62]Hog-tie him, boys.  
[33:18.45] 
[33:19.66]- Get him, that big old Bocephus of a man. - Hey, what are you doing?  
[33:23.69] 
[33:23.86]Cinch him up good. You ain't so big now, are you?  
[33:26.20] 
[33:26.37]Hey. Hey, stop that.  
[33:28.36] 
[33:32.14]Every night, year after year...  
[33:34.70] 
[33:34.87]...one of you guards locks us up in these boxes.  
[33:38.37] 
[33:38.54]Well, I hereby say, sir, enough!  
[33:41.78] 
[33:43.45]Fire up the iron horse, boys.  
[33:45.68] 
[33:53.79]- Hey, blondie? - Name's Jedediah.  
[33:56.46] 
[33:56.63]All right, Jedediah. Stop the train, please.  
[33:58.62] 
[33:58.80]- That's a big no-can-do, Cracker Jack. - What's going on here, huh?  
[34:02.39] 
[34:02.57]- Somebody's gotta pay. - Pay for what?  
[34:04.80] 
[34:04.97]I don't know. Just pay. Now, stop whining and just take it like a man.  
[34:09.81] 
[34:14.38]Seriously, stop the train.  
[34:16.01] 
[34:16.18]- All right, stop the train. - Thank you.  
[34:19.02] 
[34:19.22]Now full speed ahead and ram him!  
[34:21.24] 
[34:21.42]Split his head like a watermelon!  
[34:23.22] 
[34:25.42]For crying out loud.  
[34:27.09] 
[34:27.26]All right, that's enough.  
[34:28.75] 
[34:28.93]We got a breach.  
[34:31.73] 
[34:39.81]I got him. I got him. I got him, guys. I got him...  
[34:44.80] 
[34:48.55]- Oh, my... - Prepare the catapults.  
[34:52.01] 
[34:52.18]Octavius, hold on. This ain't your fight. This here giant's on our land.  
[34:56.75] 
[34:56.92]Hey, little guy. Jed? Yeah.  
[34:59.41] 
[34:59.59]Sorry, look. I just... I'm not a giant. I'm just an average-sized...  
[35:02.53] 
[35:02.70]Don't talk down to me.  
[35:04.39] 
[35:04.56]I'm not a giant, guys. All right? You guys are really little.  
[35:07.59] 
[35:07.87]We may be small, but our hearts are large...  
[35:12.07] 
[35:12.24]...metaphorically speaking.  
[35:14.23] 
[35:14.41]Don't take that wrong. I'm saying you're miniatures.  
[35:16.74] 
[35:16.91]Silence! The Roman Empire knows no boundaries.  
[35:19.81] 
[35:19.98]- Don't you do it, son. - Do what?  
[35:22.57] 
[35:22.75]- Octavius. - Don't do what?  
[35:24.15] 
[35:24.32]- Unleash hell! - Don't...  
[35:27.77] 
[35:38.60]Climb aboard, boy.  
[35:40.33] 
[35:40.50]Take the hand, son.  
[35:42.59] 
[35:44.84]Onboard.  
[35:46.17] 
[35:47.81]That's right. You better run, boy. You hear Jedediah?  
[35:51.68] 
[35:51.84]That mustachioed horseman ain't always gonna be there to protect you, you hear me?  
[35:56.30] 
[35:59.29]- Thank you. - Not at all.  
[36:00.84] 
[36:01.02]Theodore Roosevelt, 26th president...  
[36:02.89] 
[36:03.06]...of these United States of America at your service.  
[36:05.42] 
[36:05.86]Okay. I'm Larry Daley, the new night guard.  
[36:10.49] 
[36:13.30]Pleasure to me you, Lawrence Daley. You'll have to excuse me, though.  
[36:16.50] 
[36:17.40]The hunt is afoot.  
[36:19.20] 
[36:20.67]Hunt's afoot.  
[36:22.04] 
[36:22.78]Excuse me, Mr. President. Could I ask you something?  
[36:26.11] 
[36:26.31]- Yes, but just one question. - All right.  
[36:28.34] 
[36:28.51]Okay, why? Is it just some, like, three-wishes kind of deal, or...?  
[36:31.71] 
[36:33.49]Not at all. Self-reliance is the key to a vigorous life.  
[36:36.75] 
[36:36.92]A man must look inward to find his own answers. How can I be of help?  
[36:41.12] 
[36:41.29]I don't really know how to put this, and please don't take it the wrong way...  
[36:44.82] 
[36:45.10]...but isn't everything in this museum supposed to be, you know...  
[36:48.56] 
[36:48.73]...dead? - Dead?  
[36:50.29] 
[36:51.50]- Yeah. - Follow me.  
[36:54.30] 
[36:57.21]Yell all you want, pharaoh.  
[36:58.77] 
[36:58.94]You've been in there 54 years. You're not getting out tonight.  
[37:02.90] 
[37:03.22]There's the source of all this commotion.  
[37:05.98] 
[37:06.15]The Tablet of Ahkmenrah.  
[37:09.38] 
[37:10.09]Arrived here in 1952 from the Nile expedition.  
[37:14.15] 
[37:14.69]On that night, everything in this museum came to life.  
[37:20.53] 
[37:20.70]And every night since.  
[37:23.19] 
[37:27.71]So everything in the museum comes to life every night?  
[37:31.14] 
[37:31.31]Exactly.  
[37:32.80] 
[37:33.35]And I'm supposed to do what?  
[37:36.01] 
[37:36.18]You're the night watchman, Lawrence. A venerable position in this institution.  
[37:41.28] 
[37:43.19]- Come on, lad. - All right. Okay. This is impossible.  
[37:46.35] 
[37:46.56]Nothing's impossible. If it can be dreamed, it can be done.  
[37:49.36] 
[37:49.53]Hence the 20-foot jackal staring at you. Don't make eye contact.  
[37:52.52] 
[37:52.70]Your job is to make sure that everyone stays inside the museum...  
[37:56.07] 
[37:56.24]...because if the sun rises and anyone's on the outside...  
[37:58.86] 
[37:59.04]...we turn to dust.  
[38:01.10] 
[38:01.67]- You turn to dust? - Dust.  
[38:04.04] 
[38:04.21]- Really? - Really.  
[38:05.97] 
[38:06.68]Now, it's almost dawn. I shall help you restore order tonight.  
[38:09.58] 
[38:09.75]But mark my words, it's the last time I shall ever do so. Is that clear?  
[38:13.31] 
[38:14.65]Yeah. I mean... I mean, I guess. I don't...  
[38:17.92] 
[38:18.09]Stop babbling, boy! Yes or no?  
[38:21.06] 
[38:21.23]- Yes. - Good.  
[38:22.89] 
[38:23.06]Let's ride.  
[38:25.05] 
[38:35.27]All right. So the Hall of Reptiles is secure.  
[38:38.61] 
[38:47.09]What are you looking at?  
[38:48.92] 
[38:51.29]I'm tracking, dear boy.  
[38:53.66] 
[38:54.33]Man's got to track. Welcome to the family, Lawrence.  
[38:57.66] 
[38:58.63]See you tomorrow night.  
[39:00.69] 
[39:00.87]Actually, I gotta be honest. I don't think I'm coming back.  
[39:03.63] 
[39:03.80]What? You've only just begun.  
[39:06.07] 
[39:06.24]Yeah, well, this is not exactly what l...  
[39:08.67] 
[39:08.84]- Lawrence? - Yeah?  
[39:10.04] 
[39:10.21]What did you do before you took this post?  
[39:12.34] 
[39:12.51]Well, I've done a lot of different things. I invented this thing called the Snapper.  
[39:16.61] 
[39:16.78]Did you give up on that as well?  
[39:18.37] 
[39:18.55]No, I just hit a few roadblocks. You might have heard of The Clapper?  
[39:21.78] 
[39:21.95]- Lawrence. - Yes, sir?  
[39:23.15] 
[39:23.32]Some men are born great. Others have greatness thrust upon them.  
[39:28.76] 
[39:29.16]For you, this is that very moment.  
[39:32.96] 
[40:00.03]Bully. Got you, boy.  
[40:02.32] 
[40:02.49]Yeah. You got me.  
[40:03.93] 
[40:07.73]Say hello to your little friend.  
[40:10.10] 
[40:11.37]- What are you doing? - Put me down.  
[40:13.60] 
[40:13.77]I don't like to be manhandled.  
[40:15.93] 
[40:16.11]- Just calm down, Jed. - It doesn't feel good.  
[40:19.31] 
[40:19.48]- It makes me feel small and powerless. - You done?  
[40:23.07] 
[40:23.25]I'm gonna shoot you in your dang eye. In your dadgum eye.  
[40:27.71] 
[40:28.39]Yeah, keep shooting. Nothing's gonna happen.  
[40:30.75] 
[40:30.92]Now you know my shame.  
[40:33.39] 
[40:33.56]Jedediah's impotent rage. His guns don't fire. Take me away.  
[40:39.05] 
[40:39.67]This ain't over. You ain't seen the last of me.  
[40:41.79] 
[40:41.97]I don't wanna hear it, okay?  
[40:44.03] 
[40:44.20]Duck!  
[40:45.76] 
[40:49.44]The bigger they are, the harder they fall.  
[40:51.60] 
[40:51.78]This is not worth 11.50 an hour.  
[40:53.27] 
[40:53.45]Look, the giant's scared. There's a bigger giant running around.  
[40:57.64] 
[41:34.65]Hello.  
[41:36.42] 
[41:36.59]Larry?  
[41:38.15] 
[41:40.09]Larry?  
[41:41.56] 
[41:46.87]Oh, don't do that. We're too old for surprises.  
[41:50.20] 
[41:50.37]Really? I thought you liked surprises. Like how you surprised me...  
[41:53.34] 
[41:53.51]...with the fact everything in the museum comes to life at night.  
[41:56.41] 
[41:56.58]That little sweetheart.  
[41:58.04] 
[41:58.21]We wanted to tell you. You never would have believed us.  
[42:00.77] 
[42:00.95]- You have any idea what I've been through? - What?  
[42:03.11] 
[42:03.28]- You have any idea what I've been through? - Keep a lid on it, butterscotch.  
[42:07.51] 
[42:07.69]I don't know if what happened last night was real, but I didn't sign up for this.  
[42:11.28] 
[42:11.46]I just need a regular job that is not life-threatening and pays my bills.  
[42:15.48] 
[42:15.66]So thank you very much and I left my uniform in the office...  
[42:19.36] 
[42:19.53]...and I will be seeing you. - Larry!  
[42:21.90] 
[42:27.81]- Dad? - Hey.  
[42:30.27] 
[42:30.44]Hey, buddy. What are you guys doing here?  
[42:32.74] 
[42:32.91]Oh, Erica had to be in court early, so I'm taking Mr. Big Stuff here to school.  
[42:36.75] 
[42:36.92]But he wanted to swing by, see you in the new job.  
[42:39.21] 
[42:40.55]It's so awesome that you're working here.  
[42:42.68] 
[42:43.46]Hey, Niko, you wanna take a little look-a-doo inside?  
[42:45.95] 
[42:46.12]Maybe your dad will give you a VIP tour.  
[42:48.09] 
[42:48.26]You know what? We're pretty slammed this morning.  
[42:50.69] 
[42:50.86]Yeah, but Nicky, I promise, I'll show you around soon, okay? Deal?  
[42:55.39] 
[42:55.57]- Deal. - All right.  
[42:57.23] 
[42:57.40]- Bye, Dad. - Bye.  
[42:59.39] 
[42:59.57]- Love you. - Love you too, buddy.  
[43:01.23] 
[43:01.41]Bye, now. All right.  
[43:03.20] 
[43:33.11]Hey, Larry.  
[43:34.73] 
[43:34.91]So I was thinking maybe I'll give it one more night.  
[43:37.38] 
[43:37.54]I'm glad you came around. Welcome back.  
[43:39.53] 
[43:39.71]You. New night guard, here, now.  
[43:42.81] 
[43:50.99]- What's up? - "What's up?"  
[43:53.18] 
[43:53.36]Oh, well, take a walk with me and I'll show you, Mr. "What's up?"  
[43:56.89] 
[43:57.06]Come on.  
[43:58.50] 
[44:00.00]So would you kindly do me the favor of explaining this?  
[44:04.63] 
[44:08.34]Okay. I'm guessing...  
[44:10.93] 
[44:11.11]And I'm just spitballing here, but looks like that Roman dude got cocky...  
[44:15.77] 
[44:15.95]...and climbed over into the Wild West.  
[44:17.78] 
[44:17.95]And the cowboy knows Roman dude wants to take over his territory...  
[44:21.08] 
[44:21.25]...so he rounded up a posse and put him in the stockade.  
[44:23.74] 
[44:25.89]"Let's all laugh at me, the comedy night guard."  
[44:28.19] 
[44:28.63]"No" is the answer.  
[44:31.15] 
[44:31.33]Sarcasm back at you, with your humor box.  
[44:34.79] 
[44:35.60]I wasn't laughing. Pretending to laugh...  
[44:37.50] 
[44:37.67]...if that's what you want, some sort of battle of humor.  
[44:41.11] 
[44:41.27]Do you?  
[44:42.71] 
[44:44.24]No.  
[44:45.68] 
[44:46.41]I don't want... No, I don't want a battle of humor.  
[44:49.01] 
[44:49.18]No, you don't, because it would be a bloodbath.  
[44:52.12] 
[44:52.72]Nothing funny about Little Bighorn.  
[44:54.71] 
[44:57.42]No. I find it about as funny as a "fancist."  
[45:01.69] 
[45:02.36]It's not funny. Okay? And I will not stand for this type of blatant...  
[45:07.42] 
[45:08.87]If I'm not clear, tell me.  
[45:11.39] 
[45:13.81]Am I clear?  
[45:15.14] 
[45:16.04]- Yeah. - Yeah?  
[45:17.80] 
[45:21.95]Hey, Cecil?  
[45:23.28] 
[45:24.55]You got an extra copy of that instruction manual?  
[45:27.31] 
[45:27.49]Oh, no. I'm afraid not, Larry. Listen, I'll tell you what you do.  
[45:31.58] 
[45:31.76]Read some books. Brush up on your history.  
[45:34.32] 
[45:34.49]Helped me a lot when I first started out.  
[45:36.76] 
[45:38.40]This museum was originally dedicated to that man on the horse up there...  
[45:42.23] 
[45:42.40]...President Theodore Roosevelt.  
[45:43.93] 
[45:44.10]He absolutely loved history and believed that the more you know about the past...  
[45:48.16] 
[45:48.34]...the better prepared you are for the future.  
[45:51.24] 
[45:52.74]Okay, kids. Who can tell me what this room's called?  
[45:56.34] 
[45:56.52]Very good. The Hall of African Mammals.  
[45:58.92] 
[45:59.08]Right here we have the king of the jungle, the lion.  
[46:01.92] 
[46:02.52]Up ahead is one of my favorite creatures in the whole museum, the capuchin monkey.  
[46:06.62] 
[46:06.79]A highly intelligent primate known for its loving and generous nature.  
[46:11.75] 
[46:15.70]Excuse me?  
[46:17.03] 
[46:17.20]I just thought that was...  
[46:20.19] 
[46:20.37]I just was laughing in agreement.  
[46:23.07] 
[46:25.28]Happy monkey.  
[46:27.04] 
[46:28.85]All right, kids. This way.  
[46:30.58] 
[46:35.89]Let me tell you something. I'm not buying it.  
[46:38.01] 
[46:38.19]You might have them fooled, you might have the kids fooled. Not me.  
[46:41.68] 
[46:41.86]Can't get past me. There's a storm coming, buddy.  
[46:45.26] 
[46:45.43]There's a storm coming.  
[46:46.92] 
[46:49.83]One of the most famous trackers in history, Sakagawea was the woman...  
[46:53.07] 
[46:53.24]...who led Lewis and Clark on their expedition to find the Pacific Ocean.  
[46:56.50] 
[46:56.67]You guys have heard the saying, "Actions speak louder than words."  
[46:59.94] 
[47:00.11]And yet they wrote...  
[47:02.14] 
[47:02.31]- Yes, Mr. Daley? - Yes. Was she deaf?  
[47:05.04] 
[47:06.32]Was she deaf? No. She was not. But she...  
[47:10.15] 
[47:10.32]Yeah, because... Just... She does seem a little bit sort of unresponsive.  
[47:15.62] 
[47:15.79]That's because she's a statue.  
[47:17.42] 
[47:19.60]Kids, could you give me one sec? Go check her out. She's really cool.  
[47:23.36] 
[47:25.40]- What are you doing? - I'm gonna be here every night.  
[47:27.84] 
[47:28.01]I wanted to learn a little bit more about what I'm guarding.  
[47:30.84] 
[47:31.01]Actually, I've got a bunch of questions.  
[47:33.00] 
[47:33.18]Maybe when you have a break, could I buy you a cup of coffee?  
[47:36.08] 
[47:36.25]A cup of coffee?  
[47:37.58] 
[47:37.75]Yeah, I mean, just purely a, you know...  
[47:39.98] 
[47:40.15]...colleague-to-colleague, information-download sort of coffee.  
[47:44.65] 
[47:45.76]I finish in 20 minutes. I'll meet you outside.  
[47:47.75] 
[47:47.93]- Thank you. - You're welcome.  
[47:49.42] 
[47:49.59]- And have a good rest of your... - All right. Okay, kids.  
[47:52.39] 
[47:53.33]It was incredible what she did.  
[47:54.99] 
[47:55.17]She literally led these men across rivers, up mountains...  
[47:58.36] 
[47:58.54]...all with her newborn baby on her back. She was the ultimate working mother.  
[48:02.10] 
[48:02.27]Wow, you are quite the Sakagawean expert.  
[48:04.61] 
[48:04.78]- Sakagawean. - Sakagawean?  
[48:06.83] 
[48:07.01]Yeah. I should be, I've been writing my dissertation on her for four years.  
[48:11.28] 
[48:11.45]You've been working on one paper for four years? That would drive me crazy.  
[48:15.39] 
[48:15.55]Actually, it's more like a 900-page book.  
[48:19.65] 
[48:20.26]So, what's your story? Have you always wanted to be a security guard?  
[48:24.22] 
[48:25.06]- Oh, I didn't mean to... - No, no, no.  
[48:28.26] 
[48:28.43]No, I'm divorced and I have a 10-year-old son...  
[48:32.27] 
[48:32.44]...so I needed to find a more steady situation.  
[48:36.24] 
[48:36.41]Got it. So, what can I tell you about the museum?  
[48:39.43] 
[48:39.61]Okay, Attila the Hun. What is that guy's problem?  
[48:42.64] 
[48:42.81]Attila was considered the only genuine threat to the Roman Empire.  
[48:45.87] 
[48:46.48]"Known as the 'Scourge of God'...  
[48:49.32] 
[48:49.49]...Attila and his Huns would often tear off the limbs of their helpless victims.  
[48:54.08] 
[48:56.13]Attila was famous for his superstitious beliefs.  
[48:58.46] 
[48:58.63]He surrounded himself with a phalanx of sorcerers and magicians...  
[49:02.69] 
[49:02.87]...who advised and mystified him with their dark arts."  
[49:06.10] 
[49:58.79]Larry?  
[50:00.28] 
[50:00.59]Just wanted to say good luck, son.  
[50:02.25] 
[50:02.49]And goodbye. We're clocking out for the last time.  
[50:05.02] 
[50:05.20]If you're ever in Boca, look us up.  
[50:06.79] 
[50:06.96]Wait, you guys are going out of town? What if this doesn't work out?  
[50:10.16] 
[50:10.33]Smart fellow like you? You'll be fine.  
[50:12.86] 
[50:13.04]Yeah. We'll just be a phone call away. Come on, walk us out.  
[50:17.57] 
[50:17.74]You fellas go ahead.  
[50:20.61] 
[50:21.81]I need a moment.  
[50:23.47] 
[50:23.65]He's very emotional. A lot of memories in this room.  
[50:28.31] 
[51:24.54]Go crazy, big guy.  
[51:26.67] 
[51:31.85]Hey, guys.  
[51:33.51] 
[51:33.68]Quest for fire...  
[51:35.65] 
[51:36.15]...over. Knock yourselves out.  
[51:39.35] 
[51:41.19]Morning, dum-dum.  
[51:42.52] 
[51:42.69]Me no dum-dum. You dum-dum. You bring me gum-gum?  
[51:46.39] 
[51:46.56]Yes, I did, fathead. Lots and lots of gum-gum.  
[51:50.63] 
[52:10.42]What's that? I can't hear you through the glass.  
[52:15.55] 
[52:17.46]Sorry.  
[52:19.05] 
[52:19.66]Heave.  
[52:21.36]&am, p;nb, sp;
[52:21.83]Heave. Heave.  
[52:24.77] 
[52:24.94]Hey, what's going on over here?  
[52:27.50] 
[52:27.67]We expand or we die.  
[52:30.00] 
[52:30.31]Heave.  
[52:32.47] 
[52:32.64]- Heave. - On the count of three...  
[52:34.17] 
[52:34.35]...you blow this anthill to kingdom come.  
[52:37.78] 
[52:38.35]- And a one and a two... - Hey, Jed. Stop that.  
[52:41.75] 
[52:41.92]No, no. You blow a hole in your mountain, all you're gonna hit is a wall.  
[52:45.75] 
[52:45.92]Step aside, Gigantor. We got us a railroad to build. We're blowing a hole in that thing.  
[52:50.26] 
[52:50.43]Okay, first of all, enough with the Gigantor giant stuff, okay?  
[52:53.76] 
[52:53.93]- I'm just trying to close up shop. - We're gonna blow it anyway. And a three!  
[52:57.70] 
[52:59.17]Yeah. What are you doing?  
[53:02.77] 
[53:03.07]What's it look like we're doing? It's manifest destiny.  
[53:06.20] 
[53:06.38]You can't fight it and neither can I. Go! More dynamite.  
[53:10.18] 
[53:10.38]- Yeah, use it all. - All right. Okay.  
[53:12.85] 
[53:13.02]Listen, "Octavus"? You gotta stop that.  
[53:15.68] 
[53:15.85]It's Octavius, mary.  
[53:17.79] 
[53:17.96]Okay, you know what? Fine. Great. Here you go. This is what happens.  
[53:21.62] 
[53:21.79]- You cannot do this. I am a Roman general. - Sorry.  
[53:24.02] 
[53:24.20]- I have rights. - And you.  
[53:25.46] 
[53:25.63]- Hey, no! Put me down! - Keep heaving, men.  
[53:28.12] 
[53:28.30]You can't stop progress!  
[53:29.60] 
[53:29.77]We're gonna have a little talk, okay?  
[53:31.96] 
[53:32.70]I told you, I don't like to be manhandled.  
[53:35.14] 
[53:35.31]No, I will manhandle you, Jedediah. Now, listen, guys.  
[53:38.90] 
[53:39.08]What is your problem, huh? Why can't you just get along?  
[53:41.64] 
[53:41.88]Look, we're men. We fight, okay? That's what we do.  
[53:44.21] 
[53:44.38]It's kind of how we pass the time.  
[53:45.97] 
[53:46.22]You're, like, a giant. A freak, if you will. We can't expect you to understand that.  
[53:50.52] 
[53:50.69]You got the whole room to run around in. You don't have to be near each other.  
[53:54.35] 
[53:54.96]- What, you mean...? - You're gonna let us out?  
[53:58.66] 
[53:59.20]What, and just roam free?  
[54:01.56] 
[54:02.30]Yeah. Yeah, I might, if you promise to behave.  
[54:04.86] 
[54:05.04]That means no fireballs, no explosions, okay?  
[54:08.16] 
[54:08.34]You have my word, my liege.  
[54:09.57] 
[54:09.74]Yeah, no problemo, Gigantor.  
[54:12.40] 
[54:12.58]My name's Larry, first of all. Okay, Jed?  
[54:16.48] 
[54:16.65]So I call you Jed. I don't call you Tiny, right?  
[54:19.38] 
[54:19.55]What's that supposed to mean?  
[54:21.11] 
[54:21.29]- "Hey, Teeny." How does that sound? - I don't like it. It hurts my feelings.  
[54:26.88] 
[54:27.06]"Gigantor" makes me feel like some sort of freak, so...  
[54:29.79] 
[54:29.96]I don't. I just call you Larry.  
[54:32.43] 
[54:32.60]Don't be a kiss-ass, okay?  
[54:34.59] 
[54:34.77]Look, I'm trusting you guys, all right?  
[54:36.60] 
[54:36.77]If you don't do what I say, you can end up like the Mayan world there.  
[54:40.20] 
[54:40.40]Locked up. Take a look.  
[54:42.46] 
[54:42.64]- Do they look happy? - No.  
[54:45.84] 
[54:47.08]They look sad.  
[54:48.44] 
[54:48.61]They can't do what they wanna do. Now, I'm letting you guys...  
[54:51.67] 
[54:51.85]...have a little bit of leash here. Don't choke me with it, okay?  
[54:55.08] 
[54:55.25]I gotta run. You guys play nice, okay? Okay. Good. Thanks.  
[54:59.42] 
[55:01.16]Hey, how's that gum treating you, dum-dum?  
[55:03.39] 
[55:03.56]Good.  
[55:04.89] 
[55:08.30]Oh, hey, Dexter. I'm just locking up. You want in?  
[55:11.10] 
[55:12.77]Yeah?  
[55:14.36] 
[55:15.97]All right.  
[55:17.57] 
[55:23.55]What's that? You got my keys?  
[55:25.45] 
[55:28.05]I don't think so.  
[55:29.45] 
[55:31.39]Looks like Uncle Larry pulled a fast one on little Dexie.  
[55:35.88] 
[55:36.06]Those are baby keys for a little baby.  
[55:38.05] 
[55:38.23]Have fun with your baby keys, little baby monkey.  
[55:40.42] 
[55:40.60]Tomorrow I'll bring you a little baby diapy so you can go poo-poo in it.  
[55:44.03] 
[55:44.20]I'll give you a tickle because you're a cute baby.  
[55:46.53] 
[55:46.70]While you cry all night long about how Uncle Larry fooled you, huh?  
[55:51.51] 
[55:51.98]I told you there was a storm coming.  
[55:54.00] 
[56:01.42]- Hey, Teddy. - Lawrence.  
[56:03.65] 
[56:03.82]You impertinent pup. I knew you'd come back.  
[56:06.42] 
[56:06.66]- You look like a man on a mission. - Yeah, I'm gonna give it another shot.  
[56:10.32] 
[56:18.24]- You...? - What?  
[56:20.83] 
[56:21.00]- You checking her out? - The nerve.  
[56:24.30] 
[56:24.48]Checking her out. I've never heard of such a thing.  
[56:27.47] 
[56:27.64]No, no, no. I'm just... I mean because, you know, she's very beautiful.  
[56:31.58] 
[56:31.75]- Beautiful? - Yeah.  
[56:33.48] 
[56:37.55]- Rather handsome woman, I suppose. - Yeah.  
[56:40.15] 
[56:40.59]I don't know, maybe you should go talk to her.  
[56:43.15] 
[56:43.33]- Indeed. Bless you, lad. - Yeah. All right.  
[56:45.92]

 

cd2

[00:00.00].  
[00:00.00]- Indeed. Bless you, lad. - Yeah. All right.  
[00:01.92]- Carry on. - Good. See you.  
[00:04.78] 
[00:21.90]I...  
[00:23.67] 
[01:11.39]Hey, hi.  
[01:13.05] 
[01:13.75]No! It's okay! It's okay. You guys speak English?  
[01:17.35] 
[01:17.76]No?  
[01:18.88] 
[01:21.70]Right. I don't know what that means...  
[01:23.39] 
[01:23.56]...and I know that you and I got off on the wrong foot last night, but...  
[01:27.66] 
[01:29.57]...a little birdie told me that somebody likes...  
[01:34.23] 
[01:35.08]...magic.  
[01:36.30] 
[01:36.48]- Magic? - Magic.  
[01:39.41] 
[01:40.25]Sorcery.  
[01:41.94] 
[01:42.25]Ah, sorcer...  
[01:43.65] 
[01:43.82]Yes. Illusion.  
[01:46.25] 
[01:46.59]Everybody likes magic.  
[01:48.08] 
[01:48.26]And flowers. People like flowers.  
[01:52.21] 
[01:52.39]There you go. Those are for you.  
[01:53.92] 
[01:54.09]You know what else people like? Money.  
[01:56.65] 
[01:56.83]The almighty dollar, right? But money can sometimes...  
[02:01.20] 
[02:02.10]...disappear.  
[02:03.43] 
[02:06.27]At least that's what I...  
[02:08.26] 
[02:08.98]...hear.  
[02:10.20] 
[02:11.81]No wonder you can't understand me. You got a coin in your ear.  
[02:15.54] 
[02:18.95]Check this out. Anybody need a hanky?  
[02:21.61] 
[02:21.96]Well, I wouldn't suggest this little feller because he has a nasty habit...  
[02:26.29] 
[02:26.79]...of vanishing...  
[02:29.13] 
[02:31.23]...into thin air!  
[02:33.20] 
[02:34.13]No, no. Don't. That defeats the... Don't!  
[02:36.47] 
[02:54.32]Not the limbs. Guys, please, do not tear the limbs.  
[02:58.66] 
[03:15.18]Cortes, right?  
[03:17.01] 
[03:33.03]How?  
[03:34.25] 
[03:36.70]You! Don't even think about it. Don't you...  
[03:39.56] 
[03:40.43]Dexter!  
[03:41.90] 
[03:52.38]Come on, guys!  
[03:53.87] 
[04:19.31]Hey, guys!  
[04:20.86] 
[04:25.08]Hey, guys. Hey, guys!  
[04:27.57] 
[04:29.68]Sorry. What's going on? What happened here?  
[04:31.62] 
[04:31.79]I thought we had a deal.  
[04:33.12] 
[04:33.29]We will never coexist with these buffoons.  
[04:35.52] 
[04:35.69]We're past words, Laredo.  
[04:37.62] 
[04:37.79]Now it's time to let Smith & Wesson do the talking!  
[04:40.85] 
[04:41.03]Those guns don't even work.  
[04:42.32] 
[04:42.50]They don't? Take a look at this.  
[04:44.76] 
[04:47.87]Dexter!  
[04:49.10] 
[05:38.52]Why?  
[05:39.78] 
[05:46.66]Ho! Dexter.  
[05:48.75] 
[05:56.30]End of the line, cool breeze.  
[05:58.36] 
[05:59.94]End of the line.  
[06:01.37] 
[06:19.69]I am not playing games here.  
[06:21.49] 
[06:25.70]Just hand them over.  
[06:27.36] 
[06:32.61]Easy. That's it, Dexter.  
[06:34.87] 
[06:35.04]Nice and easy, Dex. That's it.  
[06:37.20] 
[06:59.40]Good Lord, Lawrence! Why are you slapping a monkey?  
[07:01.96] 
[07:02.57]Teddy, this guy's been pushing me, and I'm sick of it!  
[07:05.87] 
[07:06.07]Poppycock. This little creature is your primate brother.  
[07:09.10] 
[07:09.28]Without him, there's no us.  
[07:11.07] 
[07:11.61]Are you rabid?  
[07:12.91] 
[07:13.11]Wipe that off.  
[07:14.74] 
[07:15.48]You have to deal with this creature with love and respect.  
[07:18.11] 
[07:18.28]May I have the keys, dear friend?  
[07:20.12] 
[07:21.59]Thank you. Lawrence?  
[07:23.99] 
[07:26.09]Well, you know what?  
[07:27.29] 
[07:27.46]You seem to know what you're doing, so I'm gonna let you take over.  
[07:30.55] 
[07:30.73]No, no. My dear boy, you can't put up the white flag now.  
[07:33.79] 
[07:33.97]The museum is on the verge of total anarchy.  
[07:35.96] 
[07:36.14]I tried! I came back tonight, didn't I?  
[07:37.87] 
[07:38.04]Tried? That was one night. I didn't build the Panama Canal in one day.  
[07:41.41] 
[07:41.61]That's great, but I'm dealing with the most ridiculous job in history.  
[07:44.77] 
[07:44.94]Some men are born great, Lawrence...  
[07:46.50] 
[07:46.68]Yeah, I know. Others have greatness thrust upon them.  
[07:49.11] 
[07:49.38]You hit me with that chestnut last night.  
[07:51.21] 
[07:51.38]The thing is, not everyone is great.  
[07:53.91] 
[07:54.09]That's the problem. Some of us are just ordinary.  
[07:56.68] 
[07:56.89]No, you're not, Lawrence. Stop wallowing in self-pity.  
[07:59.52] 
[07:59.69]Every journey begins with a footstep.  
[08:01.39] 
[08:01.56]Teach the inhabitants to get along, they wouldn't need to be locked up.  
[08:04.83] 
[08:05.00]That means a lot coming from a guy who's spent the last 50 years...  
[08:08.06] 
[08:08.23]...spying on a girl he's never even talked to.  
[08:10.50] 
[08:11.30]I was going to make contact. Lawrence, please.  
[08:14.30] 
[08:15.14]I'm done, all right?  
[08:16.97] 
[08:21.31]No, Rexy! No!  
[08:24.55] 
[08:56.18]Oh, no.  
[08:58.28] 
[10:01.58]All right.  
[10:03.41] 
[10:12.49]No one comes here anymore. Besides, I took this tour in second grade, Daley.  
[10:16.29] 
[10:16.46]I'm telling you, my dad's gonna hook us up.  
[10:18.86] 
[10:19.17]- Mr. Daley? - Yeah?  
[10:21.46] 
[10:22.94]- Foam. - Yes, I know.  
[10:24.84] 
[10:25.04]In the Neanderthal display.  
[10:26.34] 
[10:26.51]There was an incident last night with the fire extinguisher.  
[10:29.48] 
[10:29.64]I was on my way to go clean it up.  
[10:31.27] 
[10:31.44]Okay, don't bother. You're fired.  
[10:33.91] 
[10:35.72]I don't think we're getting a tour today.  
[10:37.91] 
[10:38.08]Your dad just got canned, dude.  
[10:40.11] 
[10:41.62]Excuse me?  
[10:43.65] 
[10:44.02]Mr. McPhee?  
[10:45.62] 
[10:46.49]Excuse me, Mr. McPhee?  
[10:47.93] 
[10:48.09]Can I talk to you about this, please?  
[10:50.43] 
[10:50.60]- Sir? - What?  
[10:51.72] 
[10:51.90]I know I screwed up, but I finally understand how to do this job.  
[10:54.80] 
[10:54.97]- You obviously don't. - No, I didn't, but now I do.  
[10:58.10] 
[10:58.27]- Really, Mr. McPhee... - Doctor.  
[11:01.04] 
[11:01.84]Dr. McPhee.  
[11:03.64] 
[11:04.58]Can you please give me one more night?  
[11:06.48] 
[11:09.22]- One more night. - Okay, thank you.  
[11:11.41] 
[11:11.58]And if anything is the tiniest...  
[11:14.92] 
[11:16.16]...after your shift:  
[11:17.85] 
[11:19.86]Because...  
[11:21.16] 
[11:24.16]- Got it. - Okay?  
[11:25.86] 
[11:26.03]Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...  
[11:29.76] 
[11:34.67]Shame on me. Fool me... Shame on me.  
[11:37.91] 
[11:38.08]- You. - Fool me twice... Got it.  
[11:40.55] 
[11:40.78]- Take it or leave it. - Okay. Thank you.  
[11:43.48] 
[11:48.32]- Hey. - Hey.  
[11:49.52] 
[11:49.69]- What's wrong? - Maybe you should ask Nicky.  
[11:52.82] 
[11:55.36]Hey, buddy. What's going on?  
[11:58.09] 
[11:58.70]You got fired.  
[12:00.26] 
[12:00.70]What are you talking about? I didn't get fired.  
[12:02.86] 
[12:04.27]I came to the museum this morning. I saw your boss yelling at you.  
[12:08.10] 
[12:09.04]Why didn't you tell me? Everything's fine.  
[12:11.74] 
[12:11.91]We just had a little misunderstanding.  
[12:13.97] 
[12:14.15]Why?  
[12:15.55] 
[12:16.92]It's hard to explain. I mean, you wouldn't bel...  
[12:19.91] 
[12:21.19]You know what? Let me show you.  
[12:24.18] 
[12:24.59]- Show me what? - Come to work with me tonight.  
[12:26.85] 
[12:27.03]Larry?  
[12:28.36] 
[12:28.53]Can I talk to you for a second?  
[12:31.22] 
[12:34.37]Am I in trouble?  
[12:35.66] 
[12:35.84]Larry, what are you doing?  
[12:37.60] 
[12:37.80]I just wanna show him what I do. That's all.  
[12:40.14] 
[12:40.31]I love that you wanna share that with him, but I gotta tell you...  
[12:43.33] 
[12:43.51]...I don't think Nicky has any room in his heart for more disappointment.  
[12:47.04] 
[12:48.41]He won't be disappointed.  
[12:50.01] 
[12:50.75]Larry.  
[12:52.05] 
[12:52.62]He won't be disappointed.  
[12:54.59] 
[13:00.73]Listen, hang out in the security office till everyone's gone.  
[13:03.59] 
[13:03.76]Then I'm gonna come get you. All right?  
[13:05.49] 
[13:25.52]Hey, miss? I'm gonna have to ask you to vacate the premises.  
[13:28.72] 
[13:28.89]- Hey there. - Hey.  
[13:30.19] 
[13:31.86]- Good place to think, huh? - Yeah. Definitely.  
[13:34.99] 
[13:36.13]So no big plans tonight?  
[13:38.62] 
[13:38.80]Yeah, no, I'm not really a big-plan person.  
[13:41.63] 
[13:41.97]I prefer hanging out with people who are dead for 200 years.  
[13:44.73] 
[13:44.90]It's the live ones that throw me.  
[13:46.53] 
[13:46.71]That's cool. Seriously though, you do have to leave.  
[13:50.54] 
[13:50.74]- Seriously? - Yeah, sorry. It's museum rules.  
[13:52.80] 
[13:52.98]We're sort of locking everything up.  
[13:55.61] 
[13:55.78]You're really taking your job seriously.  
[13:58.98] 
[13:59.15]You know, once I clip on the tie, I'm all business.  
[14:02.55] 
[14:02.72]- I get it. - Yeah.  
[14:03.92] 
[14:04.09]How's that dissertation coming?  
[14:05.92] 
[14:07.29]I've hit a dead end. I mean, research can only get me so far.  
[14:10.59] 
[14:10.76]I'm never gonna know who she really was.  
[14:12.66] 
[14:13.33]So I think it's time that I move on to another subject.  
[14:17.50] 
[14:18.10]I'll let you get back to work.  
[14:19.80] 
[14:21.51]- Good night, Larry. - Yeah, okay.  
[14:25.03] 
[14:25.24]Night.  
[14:27.08] 
[14:34.19]Hey.  
[14:35.59] 
[14:37.19]Rebecca!  
[14:38.82] 
[14:41.36]- Hey, Rebecca. - Hey.  
[14:43.59] 
[14:43.76]Hey. Listen, I don't think you should give up on your paper.  
[14:46.99] 
[14:47.20]Okay. Why?  
[14:49.00] 
[14:49.17]All right, look, this is gonna sound crazy, all right?  
[14:51.93] 
[14:52.11]I mean, it's gonna sound, like, really, really crazy.  
[14:54.70] 
[14:54.87]- Okay. - No, I mean insanely crazy.  
[14:57.57] 
[14:57.74]- I can handle it. - Okay.  
[14:59.37] 
[15:00.38]You know how they say in certain museums, history comes alive?  
[15:04.11] 
[15:04.28]- Yeah. - In this museum...  
[15:07.15] 
[15:08.02]...it actually does.  
[15:09.54] 
[15:11.36]What are you talking about?  
[15:12.98] 
[15:17.46]Everything in this museum comes to life at night.  
[15:21.90] 
[15:25.40]- Really? - Yeah, really. I'm not kidding you.  
[15:28.53] 
[15:28.71]You know that tablet? The Tablet of Ahkmenrah?  
[15:30.84] 
[15:31.01]It actually brings things to life. It's like some ancient spell.  
[15:33.98] 
[15:34.15]Since the '50s, every night everything's been coming to life.  
[15:36.88] 
[15:37.05]Teddy Roosevelt told me. Seriously. The monkey, Dexter? The cute little...  
[15:42.15] 
[15:42.32]- What is he? - Capuchin.  
[15:43.79] 
[15:43.96]A capuchin. Right. The capuchin. He urinated on me and bit my nose.  
[15:47.26] 
[15:48.19]And Sakagawea is in her case, alive every night...  
[15:52.13] 
[15:52.30]...just listening to Lewis and Clark argue.  
[15:54.49] 
[15:54.67]So if you really wanna get inside her head...  
[15:57.10] 
[15:58.50]...I can hook that up.  
[16:00.37] 
[16:01.91]That's cool.  
[16:03.17] 
[16:03.34]Yeah, it's cool. It's freaking awesome.  
[16:06.47] 
[16:09.85]Make fun of the history geek.  
[16:11.78] 
[16:12.75]- No. Rebecca! - Good night, Larry.  
[16:15.62] 
[16:17.66]No, I'm not making fun of you. Rebecca.  
[16:20.46] 
[16:31.44]- Here you go. Best seat in the house. - What's going on?  
[16:33.91] 
[16:34.07]If I told you, you'd think I'm crazy. I'm gonna show you.  
[16:36.63] 
[16:36.81]- What? - You'll see in about 20 seconds.  
[16:40.34] 
[16:40.51]- Okay, you like Tyrannosaurus Rex? - Yeah.  
[16:42.34] 
[16:42.52]Yeah? Well, I call him Rexy.  
[16:44.98] 
[16:45.15]And he's about to come to life, Nicholas, in...  
[16:49.65] 
[16:52.02]...five, four, three, two...  
[16:57.02] 
[17:04.17]- Dad? - Hang on a sec.  
[17:06.64] 
[17:06.84]Say hello to Rexy!  
[17:10.21] 
[17:11.38]Dad, are you okay?  
[17:12.47] 
[17:14.85]This is weird.  
[17:16.37] 
[17:16.55]Guys! Come on!  
[17:18.68] 
[17:19.22]Sundown!  
[17:21.05] 
[17:23.19]Hey, T.R., come on, rise and shine. Buddy, I need you to wake up.  
[17:26.63] 
[17:26.79]Come on, my kid is here. I need you to wake up.  
[17:28.89] 
[17:29.06]Texas? Texas! Come on! Texas! Come on! Get on, Texas!  
[17:32.19] 
[17:32.53]Get on, Texas! Get up.  
[17:34.26] 
[17:34.43]Just stop, okay?  
[17:36.56] 
[17:36.74]No, Nicky, I'm telling you, there's this tablet, okay?  
[17:40.19] 
[17:40.37]Called the Tablet of Ahkmenrah. Every night...  
[17:42.47] 
[17:42.64]- Now there's a tablet? - Yeah, there is.  
[17:45.30] 
[17:45.48]Come on, Dad.  
[17:47.04] 
[17:48.48]Come on.  
[17:50.11] 
[17:54.62]- It's gone. - What's gone?  
[17:56.55] 
[17:56.72]The tablet. I think somebody stole it.  
[18:00.18] 
[18:00.56]Yeah, right.  
[18:02.25] 
[18:02.56]I'm not kidding, Nicky.  
[18:04.26] 
[18:07.90]Nicky?  
[18:09.27] 
[18:11.20]Hey, Nicky!  
[18:13.17] 
[18:14.61]Hey! Hey, Nicky! Where are you going?  
[18:17.37] 
[18:17.54]- Home. - What? Wait a minute.  
[18:20.48] 
[18:24.95]Come on.  
[18:26.42] 
[18:35.43]You guys shouldn't be here.  
[18:37.69] 
[18:37.86]Give us the tablet, son.  
[18:39.09] 
[18:39.27]Wait a minute, Nicky. What are you guys doing?  
[18:41.26] 
[18:41.43]We're not gonna hurt you. Give us the tablet.  
[18:43.66] 
[18:43.84]I'm sorry to tell you this, son, but your dad doesn't work here.  
[18:46.81] 
[18:46.97]He got fired this morning. Couldn't hack it.  
[18:50.03] 
[18:50.21]Dad? I thought you said you weren't fired.  
[18:53.14] 
[18:53.31]I did. They're lying, trying to steal that thing.  
[18:55.68] 
[18:55.85]Turn the middle piece, you'll see what I was talking about.  
[18:58.51] 
[18:58.68]That is museum property, son. Give it back.  
[19:00.55] 
[19:00.72]Nicky, trust me. Just turn it.  
[19:02.65] 
[19:02.86]- Give us the tablet! - Nicky?  
[19:04.98] 
[19:05.69]Trust me.  
[19:07.12] 
[19:29.55]Nick? Run. Now.  
[19:31.02] 
[19:32.18]Get back here, kid!  
[19:34.08] 
[19:36.79]Bad idea, Larry.  
[19:38.48] 
[19:38.89]You wanna dance, hot dog? You wanna dance?  
[19:41.42] 
[19:41.59]Gus, you're an old man. I don't wanna hurt you.  
[19:43.72] 
[19:46.07]You see, Larry, a few years into the job, the three of us realized that...  
[19:49.80] 
[19:49.97]...like everything else in this museum, we got new life at night.  
[19:54.10] 
[19:54.27]Sundown to sunrise, we felt young again.  
[19:57.50] 
[19:59.75]Okay. Did not see that coming.  
[20:01.27] 
[20:01.45]Gave us an energy boost.  
[20:03.11] 
[20:03.28]We love the nightlife, Larry.  
[20:05.55] 
[20:05.72]So when we found out they were gonna fired us...  
[20:07.88] 
[20:08.05]...we had to steal the tablet.  
[20:09.52] 
[20:09.69]Everyone knows you need the money.  
[20:11.71] 
[20:11.89]Add the stuff we planted in your place...  
[20:13.76] 
[20:13.93]...pretty obvious you committed the crime.  
[20:16.05] 
[20:16.23]Take care of that cut.  
[20:18.13] 
[20:18.30]Come on, guys, let's go find that kid.  
[20:20.27] 
[20:22.23]- Sweet dreams, cupcake! - No!  
[20:24.26] 
[20:24.44]Pile driver!  
[20:25.87] 
[20:26.71]Let's get our tablet.  
[20:28.61] 
[20:54.40]Thank you very much. We'll take it from here.  
[20:56.73] 
[20:56.94]Nicky!  
[20:58.46] 
[21:00.47]Just in time, Larry. We were just locking up.  
[21:03.27] 
[21:04.78]Sleep tight, hotshot.  
[21:06.87] 
[21:08.68]Let's grab everything we can fence.  
[21:10.58] 
[21:10.75]I don't know about you, but I'm planning on a long retirement.  
[21:15.05] 
[21:23.03]Teddy! Teddy, if you're out there, I need you, pal!  
[21:26.49] 
[21:29.03]Someone call my name?  
[21:30.23] 
[21:32.10]Theodore Roosevelt, at your service.  
[21:34.47] 
[21:34.64]Teddy, can you get us out of here?  
[21:36.51] 
[21:36.68]Can't do it, man. This is your moment.  
[21:38.94] 
[21:39.14]Will you save the lectures, please? I'm not you. Okay?  
[21:41.64] 
[21:41.81]I didn't build the Panama Canal, I wasn't president of the United States!  
[21:45.27] 
[21:45.45]I need some help. Come on.  
[21:46.65] 
[21:46.82]Actually...  
[21:48.58] 
[21:50.62]...I never did any of those things. Teddy Roosevelt did.  
[21:54.58] 
[21:54.76]I was made in a mannequin factory in Poughkeepsie.  
[21:57.63] 
[21:57.80]I never shot a wild beast.  
[21:59.66] 
[21:59.83]I'm not even brave enough to tell that beautiful woman I love her.  
[22:03.06] 
[22:03.54]But you...  
[22:04.87] 
[22:05.64]...you gotta finish the job this time. You can't quit.  
[22:09.17] 
[22:11.98]I'm made of wax, Larry.  
[22:13.95] 
[22:14.65]What are you made of?  
[22:16.41] 
[22:20.32]- Wait! That's all you got for me? - That's it!  
[22:23.65] 
[22:36.00]That's it. Come on.  
[22:37.99] 
[22:38.84]Duck!  
[22:40.17] 
[22:41.84]Go over there!  
[22:43.33] 
[23:03.20]Hey. Hi. How you doing? Sorry to bother you...  
[23:06.79] 
[23:06.97]...but your guys there? Your jackal guys?  
[23:09.26] 
[23:09.44]Do you think you could ask them to back off, please?  
[23:11.73] 
[23:11.90]We're not trying to hurt you, they think we are. Could you do it like now?  
[23:15.20] 
[23:20.95]Thank you. Nicky.  
[23:23.54] 
[23:24.28]Thank you.  
[23:25.55] 
[23:33.49]Dad?  
[23:34.89] 
[23:46.24]You would not believe how stuffy it is in there.  
[23:48.76] 
[23:50.84]- How come you speak English? - I went to Cambridge University.  
[23:53.87] 
[23:54.05]You went to Cambridge?  
[23:55.14] 
[23:55.31]I was on display in the Egyptology Department.  
[23:57.91] 
[23:59.05]I am Ahkmenrah, fourth king of the fourth king...  
[24:01.61] 
[24:01.79]...ruler of the land of my fathers.  
[24:04.31] 
[24:04.92]I am Larry...  
[24:07.08] 
[24:08.56]...son of Milton...  
[24:10.39] 
[24:10.56]...and this is my son, Nick.  
[24:13.93] 
[24:14.10]And we hail from Brooklyn.  
[24:16.59] 
[24:16.94]Well, I do. I mean, he comes out and stays with me on Wednesdays...  
[24:20.20] 
[24:20.37]...and every other weekend.  
[24:21.63] 
[24:22.27]That was the custody agreement that we had.  
[24:26.61] 
[24:27.08]Larry, Nick, guardians of Brooklyn...  
[24:30.78] 
[24:30.95]...I am forever in your debt.  
[24:32.81] 
[24:32.99]Now bestow the tablet upon me...  
[24:35.58] 
[24:35.75]...so that I may assume command of my kingdom.  
[24:38.28] 
[24:39.12]Oh, yes. Okay, the tablet. I would...  
[24:42.09] 
[24:42.26]...Love to bestow it upon you, but we don't actually...  
[24:45.63] 
[24:46.17]...have it.  
[24:47.50] 
[24:55.64]Thanks, guys. Don't worry. I'll watch out for him!  
[24:58.41] 
[24:58.58]Thank you.  
[24:59.94] 
[25:14.96]What is that?  
[25:16.66] 
[25:18.03]Huns.  
[25:19.69] 
[25:20.67]I gotta deal with this guy.  
[25:22.46] 
[25:59.17]Pardon me, Larry. I speak Hun.  
[26:01.40] 
[26:09.35]He says that he wants to rip you apart.  
[26:11.25] 
[26:11.42]All right. Again with the ripping. Listen, I understand.  
[26:13.94] 
[26:14.12]I get it. Ripping for you... You want to rip things, okay?  
[26:17.61] 
[26:17.79]And I think maybe that's because somebody ripped you a long time ago.  
[26:21.75] 
[26:22.23]In here.  
[26:23.72] 
[26:24.40]Somebody ripped little...  
[26:26.59] 
[26:26.77]...baby Attila a long time ago, right here.  
[26:29.73] 
[26:30.90]They ripped something out, didn't they?  
[26:34.30] 
[26:36.07]They ripped the love.  
[26:37.74] 
[26:38.54]They ripped the love right out of you, didn't they?  
[26:40.88] 
[26:41.75]A little baby all alone in a tent...  
[26:45.31] 
[26:46.05]...whose daddy went off...  
[26:48.38] 
[26:49.22]...to pillage some town...  
[26:52.19] 
[26:52.36]...or go and plunder somewhere, just doing his job.  
[26:55.09] 
[26:55.26]But who was left alone?  
[26:57.39] 
[27:00.77]You.  
[27:02.63] 
[27:07.77]Let it out. Let it go. Let it go.  
[27:11.50] 
[27:32.13]It's okay. It's okay.  
[27:35.73] 
[27:37.37]You're next.  
[27:39.56] 
[27:43.44]Good. That's good. Just breathe.  
[27:46.31] 
[27:50.32]- Larry Daley. - Yeah.  
[27:51.68] 
[27:55.32]Good. Yes.  
[27:57.19] 
[27:57.76]Yeah. Okay. Good, good.  
[27:59.62] 
[28:01.49]All right! I need everybody to listen up!  
[28:04.33] 
[28:08.00]Guys! Come on!  
[28:09.47] 
[28:13.27]Quiet!  
[28:19.58] 
[28:29.35]My dum-dum want to speak.  
[28:30.95] 
[28:31.12]Thank you.  
[28:32.92] 
[28:33.79]Now, this here's King Ahkmenrah.  
[28:36.12] 
[28:36.30]His tablet is what brings you to life every night.  
[28:39.13] 
[28:39.30]And those old night watchmen? They stole it.  
[28:42.10] 
[28:42.50]Now, we need to find those guards and get the tablet back...  
[28:45.16] 
[28:45.34]...and we need to do it before morning.  
[28:47.24] 
[28:47.41]Civil War guys, head over to the Planetarium Wing.  
[28:50.57] 
[28:52.74]My explorer friend whose name escapes me.  
[28:55.58] 
[28:55.75]- It's Columbus. - Right, Columbus! Right, I'm sorry.  
[28:59.11] 
[28:59.28]There's no nameplate, so... Columbus, take the Neanderthals...  
[29:02.08] 
[29:02.25]...and do a sweep from Invertebrates all the way through Reptiles.  
[29:05.19] 
[29:05.36]Jed and Octavius, their van's parked out back. Go take care of it.  
[29:08.35] 
[29:08.53]Whoa, whoa, whoa, no! No, sir. I ain't working with toga boy.  
[29:11.62] 
[29:11.80]Romans work alone.  
[29:13.46] 
[29:14.23]- That didn't hurt. Don't be a baby. - Yes, it did.  
[29:16.36] 
[29:16.54]Come on.  
[29:17.76] 
[29:18.34]That was much harder!  
[29:20.00] 
[29:20.17]Guys, come on!  
[29:21.64] 
[29:22.47]Jed, Octavius.  
[29:24.57] 
[29:24.74]Take away the fact you were born 2000 years apart...  
[29:27.04] 
[29:27.21]...you guys aren't that different.  
[29:28.74] 
[29:29.31]You're both great leaders.  
[29:31.51] 
[29:31.68]You just want what's best for your people, right?  
[29:33.91] 
[29:34.09]- Yeah. - Yeah.  
[29:35.49] 
[29:35.65]Civil War dudes.  
[29:37.18] 
[29:38.92]You guys are brothers, for God's sakes. You gotta stop fighting.  
[29:43.73] 
[29:44.13]North wins. Slavery's bad. Sorry.  
[29:48.46] 
[29:48.63]Don't wanna burst your bubble. But, South, you guys get Allman Brothers...  
[29:54.09] 
[29:54.91]...and NASCAR, so just chill!  
[29:57.90] 
[29:59.21]Look, without that tablet, all of this...  
[30:03.44] 
[30:03.62]...this whole coming-to-life-at-night thing, it all goes away.  
[30:07.35] 
[30:07.52]Now, I don't wanna let that happen, but I need your help.  
[30:10.61] 
[30:10.79]We can get this done, but we gotta do it together.  
[30:13.12] 
[30:14.29]So who's with me?  
[30:15.49] 
[30:16.90]Yeah.  
[30:18.56] 
[30:18.73]- Who's with me? - Yeah!  
[30:20.66] 
[30:20.83]- Yeah! - Charge!  
[30:23.32] 
[30:24.74]All right! Now, let's do this, people!  
[30:27.64] 
[30:29.74]And animals!  
[30:31.04] 
[30:32.91]And weird, faceless puppet creatures. Come on, let's go! Let's do it!  
[30:36.64] 
[30:59.67]Come on! Follow me, boys!  
[31:01.61] 
[31:01.77]Geronimo!  
[31:03.47] 
[31:15.19]Oh, jeez.  
[31:17.05] 
[31:31.10]Now, boys, we can do this the easy way or the hard way.  
[31:35.30] 
[31:40.71]I guess it's gonna be the hard way.  
[31:42.98] 
[31:46.82]Right, men, we're almost there.  
[31:50.62] 
[32:10.98]Save yourself!  
[32:13.17] 
[32:13.35]I ain't quitting you!  
[32:15.28] 
[32:17.22]Gus?  
[32:18.77] 
[32:21.09]Reginald?  
[32:22.28] 
[32:22.72]Fellas, where are you?  
[32:24.45] 
[32:26.02]Guys?  
[32:27.46] 
[32:37.97]That's what I'm talking about. Good job, gentlemen.  
[32:41.46] 
[32:41.64]Loving the teamwork!  
[32:43.11] 
[33:03.20]They've vanished. How will we find them?  
[33:06.65] 
[33:07.60]I know someone who can help. Come on.  
[33:09.69] 
[33:10.80]Watch out!  
[33:12.63] 
[33:19.31]Hey, Sakagawea, or wea. Listen, I need a favor. Somebody stole his tablet.  
[33:23.18] 
[33:23.35]You think you can track the guys who took it?  
[33:25.84] 
[33:26.52]He went east but he lost control and crashed.  
[33:30.68] 
[33:31.29]You're amazing. How can you tell that?  
[33:34.32] 
[33:38.46]He left the wagon...  
[33:40.45] 
[33:40.63]...and went back.  
[33:42.46] 
[33:42.63]He went back?  
[33:44.47] 
[33:45.77]Why would he go back?  
[33:47.20] 
[33:49.94]Get out of the way!  
[33:51.37] 
[33:59.55]You saved me.  
[34:01.08] 
[34:01.49]You're worth saving, my dear.  
[34:03.51] 
[34:05.96]- That's problematic. - Teddy. Oh, man.  
[34:08.59] 
[34:08.76]Larry, relax. I'm wax.  
[34:10.96] 
[34:11.13]You gotta do something. Dawn's approaching.  
[34:12.99] 
[34:13.16]- Half the museum's running amuck outside. - He's got my tablet.  
[34:16.43] 
[34:19.14]Come on, Ockie!  
[34:21.23] 
[34:27.28]At your service, Gigantor!  
[34:29.18] 
[34:29.35]How can we be of assistance, my liege?  
[34:31.58] 
[34:31.75]Just give me a second, guys.  
[34:33.95] 
[34:38.06]Rexy?  
[34:39.75] 
[34:41.13]Here, boy.  
[34:42.39] 
[34:42.56]Teddy, I need a horse.  
[34:44.79] 
[34:44.96]Do it, man.  
[34:46.62] 
[35:01.75]- Come on, boy! Let me hear you yell! - Yeah!  
[35:05.31] 
[35:05.48]Just living the dream, baby!  
[35:07.35] 
[35:07.52]I'm loving this!  
[35:09.15] 
[35:12.76]Pull the stagecoach over now!  
[35:14.92] 
[35:17.83]Can I make this turn up here?  
[35:19.42] 
[35:21.50]I'll take that as a yes. Hang on!  
[35:24.66] 
[35:31.01]I can't hold it!  
[35:32.84] 
[35:46.36]Come on, Tex, let's finish this.  
[35:48.02] 
[35:49.43]Come on!  
[35:51.12] 
[35:55.90]Give me the tablet, Cecil!  
[35:57.63] 
[35:57.80]Can't do it, son.  
[35:59.29] 
[36:02.77]Pull over!  
[36:04.24] 
[36:04.41]It ain't gonna happen. Moving on.  
[36:07.54] 
[36:08.25]Last chance, Cecil. Stop the horses or I will!  
[36:10.91] 
[36:11.18]They can't be stopped, Larry.  
[36:13.05] 
[36:13.22]Don't you know your history?  
[36:14.88] 
[36:15.05]These are money carriers. They were trained not to stop for anything but a secret word.  
[36:20.08] 
[36:20.26]Really? You mean a word like...  
[36:22.16] 
[36:23.53]..."Dakota"?  
[36:25.16] 
[36:29.83]Come on, Tex.  
[36:31.17] 
[36:35.41]I read up on my history. Thanks for the tip.  
[36:37.74] 
[36:38.18]Oh, and by the way...  
[36:39.40] 
[36:39.58]...don't ever talk to me like that in front of my son.  
[36:42.07] 
[36:44.35]Moving on.  
[36:46.04] 
[36:50.12]- Hey, Huns. - Tell Attila to have his boys...  
[36:52.06] 
[36:52.22]...take him back. Put him with the guards.  
[36:54.21] 
[36:57.40]Oh, and no limb ripping, okay?  
[37:00.16] 
[37:13.95]Hey, boy. Wait, wait, hold the phone.  
[37:15.61] 
[37:15.78]What's makeekaka mean? Wait. Translation, please.  
[37:19.81] 
[37:21.65]The year was 1909. I was going up the Zambezi River in Africa.  
[37:25.56] 
[37:25.72]And our river guide was a brilliant Pygmy who spoke only by clicking.  
[37:28.78] 
[37:36.87]There we are.  
[37:38.23] 
[37:41.94]- Oh, boy. - What is it?  
[37:43.87] 
[37:44.04]I gotta get you guys back to the museum.  
[37:46.17] 
[37:47.85]How?  
[37:49.11] 
[37:51.85]Ahkmenrah, I'm gonna need your help.  
[37:54.25] 
[37:54.42]This is your tablet. You know the instructions. You get everyone back.  
[37:57.65] 
[38:25.72]Come on. There's somebody who's gotta see this.  
[38:28.65] 
[38:31.09]What I'm saying is, for the type of money that they pay A-Rod...  
[38:34.35] 
[38:34.53]...he ought to be bringing home a World Series trophy every season.  
[38:37.72] 
[38:38.23]You know what I mean?  
[38:39.96] 
[38:58.42]Now, who they gonna get to clean up all that doo-doo?  
[39:00.98] 
[39:01.15]- Inuit. - Yeah.  
[39:02.35] 
[39:02.52]One terracotta soldier.  
[39:04.22] 
[39:04.39]- Vikings. - Right.  
[39:05.62] 
[39:05.79]- Alpaca. - Welcome back, ladies.  
[39:07.78] 
[39:07.96]- Llama. - Hey.  
[39:09.55] 
[39:09.73]Viking guys.  
[39:11.06] 
[39:11.23]Do me a favor. Your fellows made some funeral pyre...  
[39:13.70] 
[39:13.87]...in Petrified Wood. Go clean that up.  
[39:15.99] 
[39:16.17]Okay? Thank you.  
[39:17.53] 
[39:18.97]- He's back. - All right, I'll deal with this joker.  
[39:21.63] 
[39:21.81]Hey, hey, Moose. It's not gonna happen, buddy. All right?  
[39:24.93] 
[39:25.11]I told you, you can't come through with those antlers.  
[39:27.54] 
[39:27.71]So you and your caribou buddy gotta go around to the loading dock.  
[39:30.74] 
[39:30.92]- Lawrence! - Hey, Teddy.  
[39:33.61] 
[39:34.29]Great to see you in one piece.  
[39:35.95] 
[39:36.12]Sakagawea, a little hot wax, and I'm a new man.  
[39:38.52] 
[39:38.69]Larry?  
[39:40.39] 
[39:44.86]I told you I wasn't making fun of you.  
[39:47.13] 
[39:47.30]- I know. - Teddy?  
[39:49.96] 
[39:51.54]Oh, my God.  
[39:54.80] 
[39:55.54]Wanna meet her?  
[39:57.24] 
[39:59.01]- Yeah? - Yeah.  
[40:00.20] 
[40:00.38]Okay, come on.  
[40:01.54] 
[40:01.71]Excuse me. President Roosevelt, this is my friend Rebecca.  
[40:04.91] 
[40:05.08]- An honor. - Hi.  
[40:06.71] 
[40:06.88]And this is Sakagawea.  
[40:08.72] 
[40:08.89]- Wea. - Wea.  
[40:10.11] 
[40:10.29]Wea.  
[40:11.78] 
[40:11.96]I think she has a few questions she wants to ask you.  
[40:14.89] 
[40:16.66]You rock. I am a big fan.  
[40:18.89] 
[40:20.37]What would you like to know?  
[40:21.96] 
[40:22.80]Well, I mean, I don't know where to start, but...  
[40:25.60] 
[40:37.02]- One Buddha. - Check.  
[40:39.51] 
[40:41.09]Two zebras.  
[40:43.42] 
[40:44.09]- Right. Check. - Dexter! Welcome back.  
[40:47.42] 
[40:47.59]Hey, Dex, so look. No hard feelings, all right?  
[40:50.46] 
[40:51.96]- Lawrence! - You saw!  
[40:53.52] 
[40:53.70]- You saw what he did just then! - Who's evolved?  
[40:55.96] 
[40:56.13]- I am. - Who's evolved?  
[40:57.93] 
[40:58.10]I am!  
[40:59.47] 
[41:00.51]Good.  
[41:01.87] 
[41:02.64]Well, they're all here.  
[41:04.13] 
[41:04.31]Well done. Everyone's in.  
[41:05.78] 
[41:05.94]Yeah, well...  
[41:07.60] 
[41:07.85]...not everyone.  
[41:09.57] 
[41:10.75]We lost a couple of good, little men out there tonight.  
[41:13.84] 
[41:14.25]With great victory comes great sacrifice.  
[41:18.12] 
[41:19.12]Yeah.  
[41:20.65] 
[41:23.63]Dad, look.  
[41:25.46] 
[41:31.30]Bully!  
[41:33.24] 
[41:54.13]You ain't getting rid of us that easy.  
[41:56.49] 
[42:16.81]Until tomorrow evening, Lawrence?  
[42:18.51] 
[42:19.15]Yeah. I don't know about that, Teddy.  
[42:21.45] 
[42:22.19]It's gonna be tough to talk my way out of this one.  
[42:24.45] 
[42:24.62]Well, if that's indeed the case...  
[42:26.68] 
[42:26.86]...then it's farewell, my friend.  
[42:28.76] 
[42:30.73]Nick?  
[42:32.39] 
[42:33.53]Your father's a great man.  
[42:35.43] 
[42:35.93]I know.  
[42:37.53] 
[42:43.34]Told you.  
[42:44.97] 
[42:48.45]All right. Good night.  
[42:50.41] 
[42:50.58]No, Lawrence. Good day.  
[42:53.48] 
[42:58.56]Hey, Teddy?  
[43:00.46] 
[43:13.67]Thanks.  
[43:15.26] 
[43:28.92]You're watching New York 1. News all morning.  
[43:32.15] 
[43:33.49]Thanks for joining us. There is a fresh blanket of snow.  
[43:36.02] 
[43:36.19]But it's not the snow that's got New Yorkers talking.  
[43:38.59] 
[43:38.76]It's what's in the snow. There are dinosaur tracks along West 81 st Street.  
[43:43.00] 
[43:43.63]Here's the remarkable video. These appear to be Tyrannosaurus Rex tracks...&nbs, p;&nbs, p;
[43:46.97] 
[43:47.14]...and they lead straight to the Museum of Natural History.  
[43:50.20] 
[43:50.68]Authorities have found what appear to be cave drawings in the subway.  
[43:54.77] 
[43:54.95]Neanderthals atop the museum roof. Elaborate hoax or publicity stunt?  
[43:58.07] 
[43:59.65]You be the judge, but one thing's for sure:  
[44:01.52] 
[44:01.69]The folks at the Natural History Museum have really outdone them...  
[44:05.32] 
[44:08.59]Any explanation at all?  
[44:09.86] 
[44:14.17]No. Got nothing.  
[44:15.83] 
[44:16.00]Good.  
[44:17.23] 
[44:17.84]I'll take your keys and your flashlight.  
[44:20.50] 
[44:38.52]Folks, this way.  
[44:40.62] 
[45:38.28]My name is Nick Daley. My Career Day parent is my dad.  
[45:42.28] 
[45:42.45]He's the night watchman at the Museum of Natural History.  
[45:45.58] 
[45:50.63]Hey, how's it going? Well, Nicky said it:  
[45:52.53] 
[45:52.70]I'm the night watchman at the Museum of Natural History.  
[45:55.17] 
[45:55.33]Let me tell you something: That's when history comes alive.  
[45:59.29] 
[46:00.57]How many of you guys have been over to the museum?  
[46:03.17] 
[46:24.10]Goal!  
[46:27.46] 
[46:54.39]Hey, it's getting late. Are you ready to go home?  
[46:56.83] 
[46:57.36]Nope.  
[46:58.35] 
[47:04.87]Let's ride.  
[47:06.50] 
[47:44.04]It was nice of Larry not to rat us out, but this is ridiculous.  
[47:47.31] 
[47:47.48]We're night watchmen, not janitors!  
[47:50.50] 
[47:50.68]Gentlemen, you're doing a terrific job.  
[47:52.48] 
[47:52.65]I'll gonna catch a few Z's.  
[47:54.12] 
[47:54.29]You ain't going nowhere.  
[47:55.75] 
[47:55.92]Start mopping, hot dog.  
[47:58.58] 
[48:03.03]Over here.  
[48:04.69]

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